Reader,

Recently, I was involved in a game for youth players aged 15-18 and found myself frustrated.

As the game unfolded the noise from the opposition dugout became louder, more constant and more deafening. In fact, the commentary was so consistent, I genuinely didn’t know who was “coaching” the opposition team given there were three voices barking instructions.

Every moment of the game was followed by commentary, instruction, yelling at the referee and ‘joystick’ coaching. These controlling behaviours suggested that there was a genuine lack of autonomy in the environment and this is unlikely to support positive development.

As the game wore on, I reflected. When did coaching become a group of adults standing next to a game involving children yelling for 90 minutes? Is this tradition? A reflection of what we see in the media? A perception that we have to validate our existence as coaches with noise and instruction? I have no doubt that for the 22 players on the pitch and the three officials in charge of the game, it had to be tiring. Or are they also conditioned to not notice this?

It got me thinking about the question, what is coaching? What does it mean to be an effective coach? What would happen if we weren’t to intervene and let the kids find solutions, talk to each other, and let the officials officiate?

To me, the answer is peace. Peace to enjoy the game, and live dangerously by seeing just what the players can do on their own. Now, if we’re honest, none of us can say we haven’t been vocal, passionate, encouraging or frustrated on the sidelines. But over recent months, I have been reflecting a great deal on the impact of every single coaching intervention, from session design to communication.

Three things to consider.

  1. Are you adding value, or adding anxiety?
  2. How do you communicate with your players?
  3. Are you a deficit detective? Do you look for things to fix, or positive behaviours to reinforce?

One thing for you to try this week.

Next time you have a match day, if you don’t have a bench, take a chair. If you’re used to standing on the sideline, sitting down can change things. Reflect on how you can approach the game to allow the players to communicate deliberately, not constantly and understand the impact that your body language can have on the players as much as your voice.

One critical resource on the topic.

Check out this Masterclass Discussion with Wolverhampton Wanderers 1st Team Coach Edu Rubio & Clinical Psychologist & expert in Motivational Interviewing, Professor Stephen Rollnick on Coach Communication.

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