When I present at conferences, one of the most common questions is, “How can I teach sportsmanship to my students?” This question is usually followed up by a short anecdote about their student’s arguing, accusations of cheating, and unfair play. This question pops up on Facebook groups all the time. In the Montessori setting, the question of sportsmanship could be restated as, “How do I teach Grace and Courtesy in PE?” This begs the question, why is it so challenging to teach sportsmanship?
Come up with a definition for sportsmanship right now as quickly as you can. If you are having trouble creating a nice, succinct definition, imagine how much harder it is for the students to do it. Don’t feel bad, though, because the concept is hard to understand. We (teachers and students) do a much better job describing how to show good sportsmanship or what poor sportsmanship looks like. Articulating sportsmanship as a set of beliefs, and not a list of behaviors, is what we are after.
For our younger aged students, we define sportsmanship as “be fun to play with, be fun to play against.” If they can follow this simple statement, they will exhibit 99% of the behaviors we hope to see out of someone who we would consider “a good sport.” Reasons why we want to be fun to play with include:
· Players who are fun to play with make their teammates feel good. Whether that is incorporating them more in the overall gameplay, complimenting them on a job well done, or offering encouragement during mistakes, all these actions make teammates feel good. There is a famous quote that students don’t remember what teachers taught them, they remember how a teacher made them feel, and the same goes for teammates.
· Being fun to play with gives that person more opportunities to play. If people enjoy playing with a particular person, they will more likely extend an invitation to play with them more often.
· Coaches like players who are fun to play with because they enhance team unity. If the coach likes you, you have a better chance of making the team and getting more playing time.
Reasons why we “want to be fun to play against” include:
· Doing your best. Someone who works hard and tries their best encourages higher-level competition with whomever they are playing. When the level of competition is close, games are more fun. Playing against an opponent of a similar skill level encourages growth, which makes one a better player over the long term.
· Players who are fun to play against are respectful before, during, and after the game to their opponents, coaches, and refs.
· Players who are fun to play against do not cheat. They play by the rules and are fair.
· Players who are fun to play against do not brag when they win and do not complain when they lose.
The mantra, “be fun to play with, be fun to play against,” works very well with younger children. However, I go into more detail with the older students. They still should know the old mantra, but we will expound on this idea by adding the concept of time. For our older students, especially middle school, sportsmanship is “valuing the long term over the short term.” We start with examples within sports as to why valuing the long term over the short term is a good idea. If there is adequate time for discussion, we can see how this mantra can be applied to other areas of life (relationships, money, business, etc.).
For example in sport, I use these reasons why we should value the long term over the short term:
· The long-term goal of a sport is a championship; the short-term goal is a game. The championship is much more important than any individual game. We don’t want to do anything to win a game that might jeopardize winning the championship.
· The maintenance of relationships with our teammates becomes very important. We seek ways to get the most out of ourselves and our teammates, and positive interactions support good results. Friction between players always infects the whole team dynamic, reducing the chance of overall success. Berating a teammate who did poorly in one game will carry over into other games. We know that poor performing player feels terrible about how they did, but those bad feelings should be temporary as they work hard to improve. When external negative feelings are added on by teammates who are being overly critical, an association between those bad feelings and the teammates is created, and that will not be temporary. Propping up players who are hard on themselves reassures them that the team has their back after a poor performance. This will enhance team unity, improving the chances of team cohesion and success.
· An opponent today may be an ally tomorrow. Someone we play against in grade school may be our teammate in high school. They may even become our best friends. We don’t want to make a decision that would tarnish our reputation so much (just for one game) that it could prevent our ability to collaborate with someone in the future.
· Winning a game by cheating or dirty play has two severe negative ramifications that make it much harder to win in the long term. A team that cheats will create a reputation for cheating with other teams and referees. This is especially true if a team is caught cheating because their reputation is truly tarnished for a long time. The second reason cheating prevents long-term success is the victory garnered through cheating will not improve the team over the long run. Cheaters eventually get caught, and once they are, the chance of victory in the future is bleak.
· We must accept when we are defeated, take responsibility, and not blame others (refs, coaches, cheating, etc.) When we lose, that is an opportunity to learn from our mistakes. When we learn from our mistakes, we can improve. The loss they suffered today can be a catalyst for the improvement they make in the future, which could be the difference in winning a championship. Losing is an integral part of the learning process. We have to learn new things to improve, which usually comes from overcoming adversity.
For my middle school students, I wanted to update my sportsmanship game to make it more demanding physically and appropriate to their athletic ability. They had a lot of fun by making a few adjustments because the difficulty was right where it needed to be to keep them engaged. Another feature of the game is strategy development. This game has an element of risk vs. reward and can be played in many different ways. Without further ado, here is the middle school version of Sportsmanship and Losing with Grace.
If you are interested in the sportsmanship lesson plans, here is a link to the free download.